Got Caught Dancing...

2011-09-29T10:50:00.003+08:00

The world is probably mocking me. Bad dream last night. Your ugly face all over my work place. You looked like one of the contract carpet installer at the facility. and everytime I see his face, I see you. If thoughts could kill, you're dead a long time ago, and you're going to die over and over again. And now, the ally mcbeal episode I am watching has your name all over the place. Seriously? WTF. Please just leave me alone. You S.O.A.B!

2011-08-24T00:10:00.001+08:00

I think its going to rain today...

tumbleweed

2011-08-03T20:36:00.002+08:00

New dawn, new day. Yan ang umpisa ng isang kanta na narinig ko kanina habang nagmamaneho at habang pasikat si haring araw. New dawn, new day. But why does it seems like Im stuck? Im tired. Im tired of feeling sad all the time. Wala atang araw na walang tumulong luha sa mata ko. Napapagod na akong maging malungkot. Ilang buwan na ba ang nakalipas? Binibigyan ko lang ang sarili ko hanggang anim na buwan makarecover. Kailangan kong makarecover. Not for any one's sake but for my own. Masyado ata akong nadurog ngayon that I can't pick up all the pieces of my broken heart. Pls Jen, be ok.

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Kamamatay lang ng kinakapatid ko. Pancreatic CA. Mas matanda lang sa kin ng 2 o 3 taon. Sabi nga nila she's too young to die. Nung nalaman ko na nasa tahimik na sya, me inggit akong naramdaman. She's in peace. I envy her for that. Sometimes I wish to just be in peace too. Sabi ko sa kanya sa isip ko na ipagdasal nya nalang kaming mga naiwan dito. Im glad she's with the Lord. No more pain for her. Una-unahan lang talaga yan.

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Si Mrs x ay isa sa mga patiente ko na demented. Nung minsang tri-ni-treat ko sya, iyak sya ng iyak dahil hinahanap nya ang asawa nyang si Daniel. Miss na miss na daw nya dahil matagal na daw nyang di nakikita. Sa pagkaka-alam ko nag-iisa na sya. Naawa
ako sa kanya. Sabi nya sa kin matagal daw silang kasal ni Daniel at mahal na mahal daw nya yun. Bawat taong makita nya tatawagin nyang Daniel. Nakaka-awa pero dun mo makikita na kahit wala na sya sa tamang pag-iisip, yung asawa pa din nya ang naaalala at naiisip nya. Kung sino man si Daniel, maswerte sya.

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Some animals like penguins mate for life. Sana ganun din ang tao. Kung animals nakukuhang gawin mag stick to one bakit ang tao na nakakapag-isip di magawa yun? makes me wonder.

Raw

2011-07-05T21:56:00.004+08:00

Couldn't help but cry when I saw this movie. Hits home.

Flawed

2011-06-22T21:30:00.003+08:00

Sa loob ng dalawa't kalahating taon mula ng makuha ko ang oto ko, ngayon lang sya nagka-door ding. At nung nakita ko yun nabuset ako. Yun ang pinaka-ini-iwasan ko kaya mas gusto kong magpark sa malayo na walang katabi kesa dun sa malapit na konti lang ang space. nacla-claustrophobic ang oto ko.

Parang buhay lang, kahit anong alaga ang gawin mo sa isang bagay me mga taong walang respeto at walang pakundangan. walang mga pakialam me tamaan man o hindi.

Ngayon wala na akong magagawa. Me door ding na ang oto ko. Di bale kahit me door ding na sya aalagaan ko pa din sya. It is what it is. Parang buhay lang.

Next stop

2011-05-26T00:07:00.006+08:00

Malapit na akong lumipat ng ibang city. Malapit ko ng iwanan ang pinaka-unang trabaho ko dito sa Amerika. Nabibilang na ang araw ko dito sa apartment ko. Aminin ko man o hindi pero kahit papano nalulungkot ako. Alam kong Im just a body at work pero nung hinandaan ako ng mga kasama at kaibigan ko sa trabaho ng get away party at halos lahat sila dumating, naramdaman ko kahit papano na mahalaga ako. Lagi nila ako tinatanong If Im excited. Ang laging sagot ko "No. It's mixed emotions." Alam kong mahihirapan na naman ako sa mga unang araw, linggo o buwan ko sa trabaho dahil ibang setting na naman yun pero iniisip ko nalang na kailangan kong matuto. Kailangan kong lawakan kung ano man ang alam ko. Pero sure ko na mamimiss ko ang mga kaibigan ko. Yun lang naman ang buhay ko dito mula ng dumating ako sa Amerika, ospital at apartment.

Ang itsura ng apartment ko ngayon kasing gulo ng utak ko. Ang dami kong gamit na tinapon. Ang dami kong ipinamigay at yung mahahalaga at importante e kailangan kong ilipat sa bago kong apartment. Sana ganun din kadaling itapon o ipamigay yung mga cobwebs sa utak at puso. Iniisip ko, kailangan ko din siguro 'tong move na 'to. Kailangan ko makakita ng bagong surroundings. Kailangan kong makakilala ng mga bagong tao. Kailangan ko ma-experience ang ibang mga bagay. Ito siguro ang sagot sa pagpapagaling ko. Malay natin baka biglang tumino ang utak ko.

Chances Are

2011-05-18T10:18:00.002+08:00

"For better or worse, through thick and thin, you've been there by my side, sharing the laughter and the tears through life's uncertain ride. We don't know what the future has in store for you and me, but this I know, without a doubt, the best is yet to be. Happy wedding anniversary to my loving husband! Thank you for all the yesterdays, I appreciate your love today and look forward to all the tomorrows."

Post yan sa facebook ng isang kaibigan ko na nagcelebrate ng wedding anniversary nila. Nung nabasa at nakita ko yan bigla akong nalungkot. Parang gusto kong maiyak. But Im happy for them. Im happy for them that they found each other and stick with each other and kahit nagkakatampuhan sila at isang linggong di nag-uusap...in the end sila pa din ang magkakampi. In sickness and in health walang iwanan.

That kind of love is the love Im always praying for...and still continue to pray for...

The loneliest place that you ever know

2011-05-17T21:32:00.000+08:00

"I don't know if you've ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That's why I'm trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning."
- The Perks of Being a Wallflower

All I need

2011-05-17T00:57:00.001+08:00

I meant what I said when I said until my dying day...

Emotional Diarrhea

2011-05-16T00:23:00.002+08:00

Hindi ko na iisipin ang mga bagay na nagbibigay ng sakit sa kin...
Hindi na kita kukulitin kung ano ang nangyari at kung pano nangyari yun...
Hindi ko na pahihirapan ang sarili ko sa kakaisip kung san ba ko nagkulang...
Hindi ko na itatanong sayo kung mahal mo ba talaga ko o kung gano mo ako kamahal...

Kailangan kong matutunan na piliin lang ang mga bagay na dapat kong isipin o pagtuuan ng pansin...
Kailangan kong matutunang tanggapin ang nakaraan dahil hindi ko na maibabalik pa yun kahit ilang kaha ng yosi pa ang maubos ko...
Kailangan kong paalalahanan ang sarili ko na hindi ako kulang sa taong di naghahanap ng sobra...na sapat ako bilang ako...

Na hindi ako masamang tao...
Na hindi ko deserve na lokohin ng kahit sino...
Na mamahalin ako ng taong mahal ko ng buong buo at walang kahati...

If it's a broken part, replace it
If it's a broken arm, then brace it
If it's a broken heart, then face it...

Sign

2011-05-10T21:00:00.003+08:00

MAD

2011-05-10T19:28:00.001+08:00

I am mad. Everytime I imagine the things that you two did together I am breaking into pieces. I am fuming with anger and I dont know how to get rid of this. Demmit! I want to shout so loud until I get everything out of my system. I want to hurt somebody or more so hurt myself. I want to feel physical pain in order for me to mask this pain inside. I feel my chest tightening and hurting all at the same time...everytime. Im sorry but I am so messed up.

I need to stop thinking.
I need to shut down.
I need to get over this.
Most of the time I just want to stop breathing and die...

The Mending...

2011-05-06T15:22:00.002+08:00

I refuse to feel hurt over and over again...
I refuse to feel betrayed everytime I think about it...
I refuse to give my time of the day to those painful memories which I can't even reverse...
I refuse to be bitter and hateful especially to you because of what happened...
I refuse to lose sleep and energy by thinking about those hurtful memories...
I refuse to feel belittled by that ugly, asshole, pig, dickhead,DOM,coward, ball-less, evil person who doesn't even know the word respect...(obviously, im still an angry bird & will be for the longest time. yeah, i wish him HELL!)

But

I won't deny myself to break down sometimes because that's my way of coping
And I hope when everything calms down inside, happiness will be there to welcome me back...

The things that hurt the most are the things you never expected...

Footprints

2011-05-04T22:45:00.002+08:00

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,

“You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”

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Though I break at times, I will always be here for you and help you through. I will do my best to be strong for you just like before. And just like the Lord, I will carry you through...

ILOVEYOU SO MUCH...more than you can imagine...

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"Don't count the lost, but instead cherish what you have and plan what you want to gain... for the past never returns, but the future may fulfill the loss."

The Noise Inside

2011-05-03T00:33:00.001+08:00

May mga araw na kapag tinitignan ko ang sarili ko sa salamin, nalulungkot ako. Nalulungkot ako kasi nakikita ko sa mga mata ko yung lalim ng mga sugat ko. Pero pag ganun na ang nararamdaman ko sinasabi ko sa sarili ko na Im going to be fine...malayo sa bituka yan. Life goes on. Love and forgive. Everything happens for a reason. At kung ano ano pang mga cliches. Oo nabubuhay ako sa cliches ngayon. Apektado ako sa mga nababasa kong quotes at naririnig kong mga kanta. Feeling ko sinulat yun para sa kin. Kahit sa mga bagay na yun man lang mafeel ko na special ako.

I never asked for anything but to be enough. I hope this time I AM ENOUGH...

And just so you know, there are days when I'm a complete and utter insecure, paranoid wreck...and Im sorry.

Moving Forward

2011-05-02T00:32:00.001+08:00

I picked up my pieces so I could help you pick up yours...

Haunting

2011-04-28T22:35:00.002+08:00

Alam mo ba yung feeling na kapag me biglang surprise recitation sa school tapos alam mong ikaw yung unang una tatawagin ng prof pero nagkataong wala kang alam?

Yung tipong haharap ka sa panel para sa revalida exam?

O yung may nakaschedule ka na interview at yung director o yung pinakamataas na tao sa department na yun ang makakausap mo?

Yung tipong magboboard exam ka or magta-take ng toefl exam kaya?

Ganyang ganyan ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. I dread going to that place kasi natatakot ako sa pwede kong maramdaman. Gusto ko na kasing kalimutan lahat ng sakit. Gusto ko ng mag-move on. Natatakot ako na baka pag nasulyapan ko yun bumalik lahat at mag-uumpisa na naman ako from scratch. Ayoko ng mag back slide. Medyo ok na ko e. Nakakaya ko na.

Iniisip ko nalang na siguro kailangan kong harapin. At siguro kapag nagawa ko yun magle-level up na ko...Sana...

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Mamaya lang kasama na kita. That's the only thing I look forward to. I can't wait to see you.

2011-04-28T00:20:00.003+08:00

I adore my father. Pero hindi nya alam yun dahil hindi ko naman sinasabi sa kanya. Kahit kami lagi ang magka-away dahil pareho kaming strong personality, I look up to him like my hero. Kahit hindi ako lumaking kasama sya, taas ang kamay ko sa kanya dahil hindi ko nakita kahit isang beses na nahirapan o umiyak ang nanay ko dahil sa kanya. Nakikita ko lang na nahihirapan o umiiyak ang nanay ko kapag dumadating yung araw na ihahatid na naman namin sya sa airport para magtrabaho sa malayo. I don't think my father is perfect but I know he loves my mom more than anything. Hindi ko din alam kung nagkaron ba sya ng babae sa ibang bansa pero sa tingin ko hindi. Pag magkasama silang mag-asawa, nag-aaway o nagkakatampuhan din naman sila pero minsan dahil din yun sa pang-aasar ng tatay ko. Pero sya din naman ang sumusuko at uma-amo sa nanay ko. Sya din ang tumitiklop.

35 years na silang kasal this coming June. Alam ko mabigat sa tatay ko na maging malayo sa nanay ko pero that's life at tanggap nila yun. Kapag may pagkakataon naman na magkasama sila e hindi nila pinapalagpas yun. Sya ang driver at shopping buddy ng nanay ko. Ang nanay ko naman ang tagaluto at tagatimpla nya ng kape sa maghapon. It works for both of them.

Tahimik na tao ang tatay ko. Ang buhay nya trabaho at bahay lang at minsan shopping pag kasama nya ang nanay ko. Mabibilang ko sa daliri ko kung ilang beses ko lang syang nakitang nakipag-inuman o sosyalan. Pati ata yun minana ko. He doesnt have many friends but he has a few that I know he trusts at kontento na sya dun. Sila lang talaga ng nanay ko ang best buddies but they're happy.

I adore my father. I adore him because he showed me how to treat my woman good. He instilled in me the importance of faithfulness, of trust, of respect, of forgiveness, of loving with all your heart, of making relationship work, of being the bestfriend of your wife and of keeping promises.

The way I love is the reflection of how he is...And I hope somehow I am making him proud.

Heart of the Matter

2011-04-26T23:23:00.000+08:00

...Committed love does not say "finish" before the last act is played out. It gives us the strength to tough out bad times in the hope of better times. Committed love does not throw in the towel before the fight is really over. It holds on. And while it holds, it energizes, it keeps your strength to keep the door open for the day when new beginning is possible. It is forgiveness that supplies the healing stream of the long term tomorrows.

...The only way to heal the pain that will not heal itself is to forgive the person who hurt you. Forgiving stops the reruns of pain. Forgiving heals your memory as you change your memory's vision.

...So we shall ask: why forgive? And we shall answer: Because forgiving is the only way we have to a better fairness in our unfair world; it is love's unexpected revolution against unfair pain and it alone offers strong hope for healing the hurts we so unfairly feel.

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I FORGIVE YOU baby

Bleed

2011-04-25T21:02:00.001+08:00

When hurt turns red and a piece of your heart is missing. When the cold bites deep and you’ve got that feeling like you just got out of surgery. When the only way to stay sane is to concentrate on anything else but how you feel. When you count the tiles in the ceiling. When you push the earphones closer. When the first day of winter arrives. When you remember every nuance of every word of every time. When all this happens.

Embrace it. Feel every feeling. Cry every tear. Sob every sob. Because this is what it feels like to have loved.

Dear Ellyn

2011-04-25T00:26:00.002+08:00

I enjoyed our weekend. Sana weekends nalang lagi. Di bale after 4 days magkikita na ulit tyo. That gives us something to look forward to. I hope and pray that things will get better everyday. I have faith that it will as long as we both want it to be better. I am really hoping that whatever conflict you have within yourself was already settled. Sana nahanap mo kung ano man yung hinahanap mo sa buhay at sana narealize mo yung mga bagay na kailangan mong marealize.

I missed you...I missed my best friend, my partner in crime, my soulmate. I'm just glad that you're back and I hope you've learned, you've grown and became a better ellyn than before. Tama sila, sometimes we must get hurt in order to grow. Sana lang talaga me kahinatnan lahat ng sakit na idinulot ng bangungot na 'to. This can make us or break us. I chose it to make us. Sana ganun ka din.

We'll make new memories. We'll take lots of pictures. We'll travel together. We'll eat out and try new things. We'll shop till you drop. We'll drive anywhere. Basta kasama kita ayos lang ako.

You're still the only one I want to grow old with...

MAHAL NA MAHAL KITA.

bipolar

2011-04-21T18:19:00.004+08:00

minsan iniisip ko baka kailangan ko ng magpadoktor. me araw na ok ako at me araw na hindi. para akong me alzheimer's na nagsu-sun downer. sana nga me alzheimer's nalang ako para makalimutan ko yung mga bagay na naalala ko na nagbibigay ng sakit sa kin. masakit pa din sa dibdib. ayoko na maalala...ayoko na pag-usapan pero kahit anong pigil kong di ungkatin, pagdating ng hapon naaalala ko pa din. masokista talaga ako, tinoturture ko lagi ang sarili ko. bakit ako ang kelangang mag-suffer? bakit hindi yung taong bumastos sa pagkatao ko? naniniwala pa din ako sa karma. sana maging miserable sya habang buhay. sana lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman ko mula noon pa e maramdaman nya para kahit sa ganung paraan man lang makaganti ako sa kanya. magkita nalang kami sa finals.

DABDA. denial, anger, bargaining,depression, acceptance. sana malapit na ko sa acceptance. konti nalang.

i never liked roller coaster pero ganun ang emosyon ko ngayon. taas-baba. siguro kelangan kong kumapit ng matindi para matapos ko hanggang dulo.

sana dumating yung araw na wala na akong maramdamang sakit.

gusto ko na ulit maging masaya...

Natatandaan mo ba...?

2011-04-18T00:32:00.011+08:00

...nung una pa lang tyo magkakilala, ikaw ang pampagising ko sa madaling araw nung mga panahon na night shift ako sa trabaho...joke dito, joke doon...ikaw ang caffeine fix ko kaya nga kahit tanghali na at kelangan ko ng matulog e mulat na mulat pa din ako dahil sa mga kalokohan mo...Ted Hannah...natatandaan mo?

...nung una tayong nagkita...nagtaxi tyo mula NAIA hanggang Roxas Blvd at mahigit 300 ata ang binayad natin ke mamang taxi driver na ikinagulat mo sa mahal pero dedma, atat ka na sa kin e kaya go-ra na...

...na ginagawa ko lang quiapo ang qatar to manila makasama lang kita kahit isang linggo...

...na araw-araw paguwi ko sa trabaho noon, kahit na pagod at antok ako, dedma na basta lang makapagchat tyo kasi hindi mabubuo ang araw ko ng hindi ka nakakausap at nakikita man lang sa chat...

...nung unang una kitang pinadalhan ng package...gusto ko kasing ibigay sayo lahat ng kayang mabili ng pera...para kahit sa ganung paraan man lang nung time na yun maparamdam ko sayo na mahal kita at mahalaga ka sa kin...

...tuwing uuwi ako sayo, ayaw na natin matapos ang bakasyon ko kasi iyakan blues na naman yun...

...ang hirap hirap lagi dati kapag maghihiwalay na tyo...para tayong mga tanga kasi iyak lang tyo ng iyak kapag kelangan ko ng pumasok sa airport para magcheck-in...

...nung panahong umuwi ako for good galing ng qatar para matupad yung pangarap nating makapunta dito sa america...

....na noong taghirap tyo, kahit sa bahay lang tyo memerienda ng turon at pop cola, solb na basta magkasama tyo...

...na kahit sa sm valenzuela lang tyo namamasyal at nagkakape masaya ang buhay...

...nung panahong na-scam tyo na halos wala ng natira sa savings natin...sobra akong nag-alala kasi ayokong mamroblema ka sa pera dahil ako dapat ang nagpro-provide syo nun...

...na pinangako ko sayo na gagawin ko ang lahat para makasama kita dito sa amerika...na nangyari dahil sa pagpupursige nating dalawa...

...nung unang nagkita tyo dito sa houston, ang saya saya ko nun...walang paglagyan ang tuwa ko na at last makakasama na kita dito...

...nung nakapasa ka sa lahat ng exams mo...ako ang pinakasamasayang tao nun and i was so proud of you...

...nung andito ka at pinapasyal kita...gusto kong makita mo lahat ng nakita ko at makainan mo lahat ng nakainan ko...kaya medyo nalungkot ako nung hindi man lang kita naipasyal sa ibang lugar maliban dito sa TX...

...hindi ko alam kung natatandaan mo na sinabi ko sayo na sobra ang iyak ko nung umuwi ka na ng pinas after ng bakasyon mo kasi sobrang nalungkot ako mag-isa dito...

AT HIGIT SA LAHAT SANA NATATANDAAN MO...almost 6 yrs ago nung isinuot ko sa daliri mo yung sing-sing sa harap ng altar at ipinangako ko sa harap ng Dyos na iingatan kita, aalagaan at mamahalin habang buhay...

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Sana kapag maaalala mo yung mga bagay na yan, maramdaman mo kung gaano kita kamahal...

MAHAL NA MAHAL KITA

2011-04-13T18:11:00.000+08:00

We help people when big things happen to them, when you see them getting hit by a car, when a brother or a sister or a father or a mother dies, we're there for them because we can see that death kills more than the person it takes. And yet, the people around us who die a little all the time, moment by moment, who require the least help, the smallest sacrifice, are the ones we ignore completely.

2011-04-13T17:50:00.002+08:00

Dear Jen,

Hang in there. Go easy on yourself. There is more to life than this. Just accept what happened and live with it. In time everything will fall on its proper place. Keep on loving. Everything will be fine...One day at a time...

eternal sunshine

2011-04-12T20:49:00.002+08:00

sana merong talagang kagaya nung sa pelikula na pwedeng mabura yung mga memories na hindi mo na gustong maalala pero iniisip ko kung mabubura yun na parang walang nangyari e di mababalewala din ang sakit na dinulot nun. oo gusto ko yun, kung pede lang na ganun pero kung iisipin mo, pag nangyari yun baka pati lessons na dapat mo matutunan e mabura din e di mababale wala lang lahat dahil malamang sa hindi e hindi ka matuto at uulitin mo ulit ang ginawa mo.

nangyari lang siguro ang dapat mangyari. sobrang sakit na tuwing naaalala ko dinudurog ang puso ko. natutulala na lang ako minsan sa isang tabi na tipong gusto ko ng iiyak lahat ng sakit para mawala na...kung band-aid lang ang katapat nun baka lahat ng band-aid sa mundo binili ko na...pero di ganun e. panahon lang siguro ang magpapakalma ng lahat.

sana narealize mo kung ano at sino ang importante sa buhay mo. madami ka pang makikilalang tao sa mundong 'to na magbibigay ng atensyon syo o panahon o pagmamahal pero hindi lahat sila kelangan mong sakyan o tanggapin...hindi ganun yun. kung talagang masaya ka sa partner mo, hinding hindi mo yun hahanapin sa iba at hindi ka magdadalawang isip na bitiwan sila.

pinagdadasal ko na malampasan natin to...ito na ata ang pinakamabigat na pagsubok na daraanan natin...sana nga eto na dahil dito pa lang durog na ko baka wala ng matira sa kin kapag me sumunod pa.

hindi na natin mababago ang nangyari. tapos na yun e. magfocus nalang tyo sa ngayon at bukas. basta sabay tyong makikipaglaban, kaya natin. wag mo na sanang hahayaang masira tayo ulit ng kahit sino. yun lang ang hinihiling ko sa'yo. simula ulit tyo sa umpisa. manligaw ka muna.

???

2011-04-06T19:38:00.001+08:00

tama ka Bob Ong!

2011-04-06T18:04:00.001+08:00

Bakit ka magpaparamdam sa taong hindi marunong makaramdam? Wag kang magpakatanga, sa taong hindi marunong magpahalaga. Matuto kang sumuko at mang-iwan, kung lagi ka namang sinasaktan. Imbis na magtanong ka ng "Hindi pa ba sapat?" Bakit hindi mo na lang kalimutan ang lahat? Kung alam mong binabalewala ka na, tanggapin mong nagsasawa na sya.Wag kang magpadala sa salitang "sorry" at "ayokong mawala ka" kung totoo yun, papatunayan nya.

2011-04-06T17:58:00.000+08:00

Some days it seems like it'll never end

2011-04-05T18:17:00.000+08:00

I am missing you so much it hurts...

...

2011-04-03T18:26:00.001+08:00

di ko alam kung dapat ko ipagpasalamat ang pagpunta mo dito kasi kung kelan andito ka saka naman tyo nagkakagulo. buti pa nung nasa pinas ka pa wala tayong issue. nung pagdating mo dito sa houston at nagkasama tyo ng ilang buwan, ok naman tayo. nag umpisa lang ang lahat paglipat mo dyan sa stamford...mula ng makilala mo yang kaibigan mo na laging tama sa paningin mo. tama ka, ayaw mo isipan ka nya ng masama...na wala kang kwentang kaibigan naiintindihan ko yun. pero parang palagi nalang ako ang mali kapag nasisita kita tungkol sa kaibigan mo na yan. pakiramdam ko mas mabuti na ako ang mawala sa buhay mo para magawa mo ang gusto mo kesa sya na kasama mong ginagawa ang mga yun. siguro nga iba lang tyo ng pananaw sa buhay. para sa'yo masyadong malaking kasalanan ang mahalin ka ng sobra. kaya nga ako iniwan nung ex ko diba kasi masyado ko syang mahal kaya kahit apat na beses na nya kong ginagago andun pa rin ako parang asong sunod sunuran sa kanya.

bakit ganun, kahit anong pagmamahal o pagbibigay ang gawin ko sa huli ako pa din ang mali...ako pa din ang iniiwan. hindi ako magiging sapat para sa'yo o sa kanino man. lalabas pa rin akong walang kwenta. naka-awa naman pala ako. ngayon ko nararamdaman ang awa sa sarili ko.

hindi ko alam kung kulang ako sa dasal. dati kasi araw araw kong dinadasal na hawakan Nya ang magkabilang kamay natin para matupad yung mga pangarap natin. hindi ko na matandaan kung kelan ko huling dinasal yun. ngayon, di ko alam kung anong idadasal ko...siguro na sana e malagpasan ko to, na makabangon ulit ako. yun siguro ang dapat dasalin sa ngayon. kahit alam mo na na mahal na mahal kita gusto ko lang sabihin sayo na mahal na mahal kita pero wala kang karapatang saktan ako ng ganito. wag ka mag-alala sa kin magiging ok din ako. mahihirapan akong bumangon sigurado yun pero kakayanin ko.

phone in question!

2011-04-02T18:14:00.001+08:00

what do friends talk about at 3 o'clock in the morning, for crying out loud?! ayos talaga! kaya i hate you so much e! kelangan pa bang imemorize yan?! sya sige na, ikaw na! geeesh!

ngayon lang...pagbigyan nyo na pls

2011-02-04T13:22:00.003+08:00

BO-lshit!
BO-lshit!
BO-lshit!
BO-lshit!
BO-lshit!
BO-lshit!
BO-lshit!
BO-lshit!
BO-lshit!
BO-lshit!
BO-lshit!
BO-lshit!
BO-lshit!
BO-lshit!
BO-lshit!

dying...

2011-02-04T12:17:00.010+08:00

tonight is the 2nd night that i will not sleep in my bed. the couch is my current friend right now. i may not have enough room to toss and turn here but i feel ... safe... secure...

i feel like im hitting rock bottom and nobody is there to save me ... maybe because nobody understands ...

pain is not my friend ... somedays i just want to feel numb so it won't hurt like hell...

now i am starting to believe that there's something wrong with the way i love ... i just love too much ... and anything not in moderation is bad ...

i miss the old me and i miss the old you but then everything changes ...

i envy sweet and happy couples ... we we're once like that ....

i still have hope ...

2010-12-31T07:24:00.002+08:00

feeling lost, cold and broken hearted...

...

2010-12-13T13:17:00.001+08:00

sometimes i can't believe that the demons of my past is still catching up on me...pls stop messing with my head!

...

2010-09-19T02:37:00.003+08:00

im not old but i feel grey just like the weather. i want to get out of here. anywhere but here. i don't like to think. i don't like to feel. i just want to stop breathing even for a second just to clear my head. sometimes i feel like i am so inadequate. everything is not enough. not enough love. not enough care. not enough attention. maybe i have a problem. chaos is my life. emotional chaos that is. whatever that means. see, even i can't explain it. im such a mess. even though i don't like to think about it, there is always this thought at the back of my mind that pops up everytime there's an issue because of me. because i am oblivious and unemphatic. as you said, i will never change. maybe i won't. who knows. but this is me. and even before you know me this is how i am. i am wired this way. i don't know if i can change that and i don't know if you will understand but i am willing to try. i just don't like you saying that someday you'll be fed with me. maybe you will. then what? that's when the repressed thought at the back of my head pops up. that one day just like my ex you will turn your back on me and leave and i can't do anything to make you stay. scary thought for me. very scary. im screwed.

2010-04-03T22:54:00.004+08:00

this is better than easter egg hunt! di pa easter pero i found treasures in half priced books store! yey! me so happy! =) konti nalang mabubuo ko na ang koleksyon ko ng jeanette winterson books! sana mabuo ko na din books ni haruki murakami! at sana magkaron ako ng time na basahin silang lahat! haha!

Happy easter everyone!

2010-03-20T09:44:00.002+08:00

I was off last Thursday and adik told me to eat at Chili's for lunch because of the southwestern eggroll that she began to love and crave for...and so I did. I was homesick, sad, exhausted since I came back due to the fact that I am missing home & adik so bad plus some family issues that came up while I was there. It gave me a heavy heart. I was praying everyday to Bro to help me make it through the day. I guess Im just tired of being all by myself here. It's getting old & Im starting to hate it. And so I went out and ate at Chili's and boom! A smiley face in front of me. It's probably Bro saying "Smile Jen, cheer up & everything will be alright!"

Cge na nga Bro! I believe you!

...

2009-12-06T01:01:00.002+08:00

They say there's a reason for everything

I say that's BULLSHIT!

FUCK ETS! hmpt!

Bili na kayo dyan!!!!

2009-07-20T03:12:00.004+08:00

www.sariwangsariwa.multiply.com

for affordable & imported items from the U.S.

Lomo Loco

2009-06-13T12:05:00.005+08:00

Nang nagsimula akong mag-lomography, sabi ko sa sarili ko gagawa ako ng sarili kong lomo wall kapag nagkaron ako ng magagandang shots...at ayan na nga! tadaaaan! proudly presenting my lomo wall! well, as you can see kinulang ako ng 3 pang pictures para makumpleto sya pero dedma na di naman masagwa e! hehe! makukumpleto ko din yan at nagaantay na ang kabilang side ng wall ko para sa isa pang set!

those are products of my Holga 135 using different films...me B&W, colored, colored na expired, at redscale films! naiwan ko sa pinas ang paraphernalia ko pangredscale pero ok lang madali nalang gawin yun! im planning to collect all lomo cams there is in the market maliban sa pagkokolek ng rubber shoes, caps, bags, shirts, at shot glass gusto ko lahat ng lomo cams! mukhang me batang mamumulubi sa pinapangarap kong koleksyon! ahaha! LC-A! LC-A! LC-A! ahaha!

medyo napahinga ako ng konti sa pagfefektur at busy ako kakakayod dito sa land of milk and honey! hehe! inaantay ko lang dumating ang favorite subject ko kasi pag andito na sya gagala kami ng gagala kaya im sure madami akong makukuhang magagandang shots! im excited kaya by bilisan mo na para magawa na natin ang kabilang side ng pader! =)

apat

2009-06-04T12:30:00.001+08:00

HAPPY

4TH YEAR

ANNIVERSARY

BABY!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

nakikita mo ba yang kama ko?
inaantay ka na nyan matagal na!
pwedeng pwede na tyong umikot dyan pramis!
ahaha!
sana andito ka na para naman me kahati ako sa cake ko na napakalaki!
infairness pagkinonvert mo presyo nyan halos 200 pesoses na yan!
alam kong hihimatayin ka sa mahal! ahaha!

missing you bad by!
hope to be with you soon!

when it rains, it pours...HARD!

2009-04-23T09:48:00.005+08:00

i had a very rough day today. actually kahapon pa nagsimula nagtuloy-tuloy lang kanina. laging sinasabi ng PT aid ko na magsayado daw mahaba ang pasensya ko. i told him in real life i am impatient and i easily get pissed and it takes so much control on my part to contain my temper kaya naman im proud of myself kasi tumagal ako ang halos 4 na buwan sa trabaho na hindi napuputol ang pisi ko...hanggang kahapon! sino ang maswerteng mga tao na nagpa-snap sa kin??? mga nurses na kung umasta e mga dyos at dyosa na di naman mga kagandahan! (see hanggang ngayon lumalabas na asar pa din ako! di masyadong halata di ba?) I have nothing against nurses at di ko gine-generalize dahil unang una nurse din ang asawa ko (kaya by pls lang wag na wag kang tutulad sa mga nurse na akala mo araw araw e me PMS kahit sa totoong buhay e menopause na!) kaya lang some of them are just plain bitches who act so unprofessional and who do not have any manners! (bato-bato sa langit!)

i just felt so bad yesterday kaya ipinagdasal ko nalang ang mga hinayupak! i still felt bad when i woke up pero dedma nalang. i know im not my usual self kasi kanina serious ang moda ko. im not all smiles when we treated our 1st patient. i was with my OT partner and we're just doing our usual stuff, no big deal. when i was writing my documentation, the charge nurse of the floor approached me and told me that the patient's family said i was rough on their grandma. ako rough??? oh come on! of all the acute PT's in our department ako pa daw ang rough? but still i went to the room and apologized. told them i am just doing my job and im sorry they felt that way but that's just the way we do it. they accepted my apology but told me they don't want me to see the patient again. that's fine with me, i really wont see them again anyway. PTA na ang next in line na makakakita sa kanila after i did my initial eval and treatment. when i told the story to my boss, who happens to be my mentor, she just laughed. told me you cannot please everybody so why try? tama nga naman! kanya kanya lang ng opinyon yan. but still i felt bad coz that's a first for me. di ako sanay na sinasabihan na im rough coz im not. lagi ngang sinasabi ng PT aid ko sa kin na i should learn to toughen up or else everybody will just bitch out on me.

lunch time, i bought a $4 grilled chicken sandwich sa caf. paakyat na kami kasama ko ang PTA ko ng biglang mabitawan ko ang sandwich. ayun tsugi ang $4 ko! tsk! i went back to the caf and just got a to go $2 something tuna sandwich. sabi ko sa cashier na nalaglag ang pagkain ko. naawa naman sya sa kin. sabi nya kuha daw ako ulit ng grilled sandwich kung ayaw ko nung tuna and she wont charge me anything. sabi ko ok lang kasi nagmamadali ako dahil me meeting kami sa rehab. told her i really appreciate it and i started to feel better dahil naisip ko goodness will always prevail. she must be the rainbow after the rain.

2009-02-02T10:01:00.001+08:00

mas masaya dito pramis!

.....
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...
..
.

ADIKTUS

As per Sir Jim Paredes

2008-11-24T23:05:00.002+08:00

Dying to live
HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE By Jim Paredes
Updated November 23, 2008 12:00 AM

Have you had long episodes when you felt like you were walking on unsure territory, where you found it hard to see beyond what seemed to be the dreary fog of life, when everything seemed like an aimless, meaningless blah? When I am in such a funk, my higher self wants me to break out into something new. And longer periods like this are sure signs of new major undertakings.

Transitions are scary. One is being asked to leave one place and go to another. Never mind that the place one is leaving has become boring, transitions can still be daunting. It demands of whoever is going through one to let go of the safety harness in one comfort zone and jump into another, and in the process become untethered, unsafe and unattached, (hopefully for only a while) until one reaches (if ever) the new terra firma.

When we decided on our move to Australia, I was weary of the political situation in the Philippines which seemed stuck in a deathly inertia. I also remember feeling that everything else I was doing was pretty much a been-there-done-that affair. I felt the ache that the rest of my spirit was feeling because it needed to find something new to come alive to. I remember trying to imagine seeing people I love for the last time since one can never tell what could possibly happen. I remember selling our cars and seeing our prized possessions being packed in boxes for shipment to a country where we had only a few friends or relatives. It was scary — definitely — but at the same time, the very boldness of it made me feel alive to myself.

In moments like these, one’s senses awaken and it can be a profound spiritual experience. Any new person I meet, a new detail I encounter, a path uncovered becomes a sign that seems to affirm that I am being led to a new life that awaits me. It feels like God, in His/Her/Its divine plan, is doing the leading. How can it be otherwise? Serendipity is everywhere. The signs unmistakably affirm the decision of the new life wanting to be lived.

It is definitely a growth spurt of sorts, and like all growth, it asks us to turn away from the familiar and embrace the new. In many ways, it is like what we experienced in our teenage years when we woke up to discover our young bodies being reshaped for tasks that would go beyond what we were doing as children. All of a sudden, we were taller with more body hair and bodily urges that were so powerful. It definitely felt different. Needless to say, we felt unsure of ourselves in this new body. There was an awkwardness, a doubt, a confusion about what we had become. We sensed that something in us was dying and something new was being born.

In such moments of great change when one is in the process of leaving one state to go to another, the challenge is not to look back, although the temptation to do so is great. One must continue to walk on the path even though it is unsure, dark and often bleak. To look back and ask the “what ifs” about one’s decisions too early in the journey is to become stuck — like Lot’s wife in Sodom and Gomorrah, immobile and turned into a “pillar of salt”! Scary as it is, we must do it if we are to move forward because it is the path to growth. One might even feel at times that to continue is part of one’s soul journey. Emerson put it well when he said that “God will not have his work made manifest by cowards.”

This process of dying and awakening into something new requires a new mindset. The worst attitude to have is to leave one place and go to another only to expect to live the exact same old life one had, rejecting new things that will surely come along. It’s a sure prescription for unhappiness, like insisting on experiencing summer in a winter setting!

I admire people who go through life’s stages almost seamlessly, who are able to pick up the pieces after a tragedy, like those who are able to find a new love and marry after the death of a spouse, or the end of a long standing relationship. Or former addicts who are able to have functional happy lives after rehab. Or people who leave jobs they have been in forever and boldly move on to new careers. There is something light and nimble about their ability to drop what has stopped working and leave it behind regardless of sentimental ties in order to embrace the new wave that can make one bigger.

Have you ever realized that many times, we may be putting more effort into preventing growth than simply allowing it to happen unimpeded? Yes, it does take effort (often unconscious) to be lonely just as it takes effort to be happy. It takes effort to maintain our biases, defend our views, feed our fears, and argue in defense of our shallower convictions that keep changing.

Being unconscious can bring us to lonely, sad places in our lives that are actually prisons where our spirits die. From time to time, all of us do in fact live there, but there are those who, tragically, do not know any other home.

Life, I believe, is a cycle of birth, death, acquisition and loss, a dance marathon of opposites. Wherever we find ourselves, its opposite will manifest after a while if our life is to be completely lived. To awaken is to consciously accept what has died in us, to mourn it and move on to something where we can have a greater experience of being alive. Being awake allows us to choose being happy and free.

For roughly the same effort, where would we rather invest our time and resources and our lives, in consciously choosing joy or unconsciously choosing fear?

The following quote from Rumi, one of my favorite poets, never fails to soothe my fears about any transition I must go through. He wrote:

“I died a mineral, and became a plant. I died a plant and rose an animal. I died an animal and I was man. Why should I fear? When was I less by dying?”

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My sentiments exactly!

2008-11-10T19:09:00.003+08:00

Im on my way to the other side of the world.
Sad or glad? BOTH!
Glad because finally this is a baby step to achieve our BIG dreams.
Sad because I'll be leaving the love of my life behind. (huhuhu!)
But I have FAITH...
Faith that we're on the right track...
Faith that this sacrifice of not being together for a while will be all worth while in the end...
Faith that everything will be okay...
Faith that sooner than we imagine, we'll be together again...

P.S:
oo noh, powtah! 6 months by...im giving you 6 months! haha!
at sa mga mas atat pa sa amin na umalis na ko...eto na! this is it! hmmpt!

P.P.S:
andun daw si jomari yllana kanina sabi ng isang kasabay ko for H1 visa interview! kiber! di ko nga sya napansin e! busy ako masyado kakadasal na matapos na ng walang problema at walang tanong tanong sila mr. consul! at dininig ng buong kalangitan ang dasal ko! Anim na tanong at anim na sagot na walang paligoy-ligoy and im done! sisiw! hehe! salamat sa taas! kaya dun palang alam ko ng we're on the right track!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH baby! MAHAL NA MAHAL! =)

Happy Birthday Baby!

2008-10-12T00:00:00.000+08:00

glitter-graphics.com

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

p.s.

treat ko ha! dun sa masarap! ahaha!

cge na nga, kahit yakap saka maraming kiss lang oks na! =)

You are the one I've been waiting for today...

2008-10-07T00:26:00.005+08:00

Advance Happy Birthday baby! =)

I LOVE YOU Soooooooooooooooooo MUCH!

Mucho, mucho! hehe!

40th!

2008-10-04T00:47:00.004+08:00

hindi man ikaw si Anne
o si Agua, Cielo, o Tierra
sa totoo lang nagpapasalamat ako
dahil hindi ikaw sila
dahil kung nagkataon magiging kaagaw ko pa
si kulas, adonis at mars.
naaa-a-aaah!
ayaw ko nga!
ayaw ko ng buhay fantaserye
masaya na ko sa buhay natin kahit na minsan masalimuot din

kaya me tama ka!

ikaw lang ang nag-iisa kong Dyosa
na di ko ipagpapalit kahit pa gumanda na si betty lafea
kahit na sa totoong buhay e crush ko si bea
pero ikaw lang naman ang mahal ko
kaya kung susumahin mo
lamang ka pa rin ke bea, betty, anne, cielo, agua at tierra

pero alam mo bang lumamang din ako kila kulas, adonis, mars at sir armando?

bakit kamo?

kasi kahit lamang sila ng sampung paligo sa kin...

....

....

....

....

....

ako pa rin ang pinakamabango sa pang-amoy mo!

haha!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH baby!

Happy 40th!

ennui

2008-09-03T20:47:00.006+08:00

...boredom
...apathy
...blues
...doldrums
...listlessness
...melancholy
...weariness

i could go on and on thinking of other synonyms but it's just one and the same at yun na yun!

shoutout!

2008-08-24T23:14:00.004+08:00

"Don't get impatient. Even if things are so tangled up you can't do anything, don't get desperate or blow a fuse and start yanking on one particular thread before it's ready to come undone. You have to realize it's going to be a long process and that you'll work on things slowly, one at a time."

-Reiko-
Norwegian Wood
by
Haruki Murakami

...

..

.

wish ko lang maisabuhay ko itu! dahil sa totoo lang naiinip na ko pramis! pero baka ganun talaga, kelangang pahabain ang pisi dahil lahat ng nararapat ay mangyayari sa takdang panahon!
Patience is a virtue!
Patience is a virtue!
Patience is a virtue!
Patience is a virtue!
Patience is a virtue!
Patience is a virtue!
Patience is a virtue!
Patience is a virtue!
Patience is a virtue!
Patience is a virtue!

I say BRING IT ON!!!!

2008-08-01T12:27:00.004+08:00

May phone interview daw ako in the coming days to come. Di ko pa alam kung kelan, pero pagkatanggap ko ng balita na yun nangarag ako! Napabuklat ulit ako tuloy ng libro. Pero naman sa sobrang kaba ko ata e nakakaisang page pa lang ako ayun tulog na! ahaha! In fairness ha, di ako nakapagpuyat kagabi na puro kalokohan lang ang ginagawa! Hmmm that's a good start!
Do or die itu! Ito ang magiging sagot sa aming american dream! Ngayon pa lang maghahanda na ko ng sandamukal na tissue dahil for sure nose bleed itu! ahaha!

Nananawagan ako sa inyong lahat...Please pray for me!
at sa lahat ng santo...Please intercede for me!

Amen!

Baby,

2008-07-20T13:29:00.005+08:00

PostSecret

The Man!

2008-07-18T12:54:00.003+08:00

I love BOB ONG! He's a god...kung meron nga ba talagang BOB ONG, yun ang tanong! Sa pagkakaalam ko pen name lang yan, galing sa BOBONG PINOY. Ok sa alright ang mga hirit nya. Kakatuwa. Me halong kalokohan at kagaguhan ang mga sinusulat nya pero me sense kasi totoo hindi lang basta patawa! Basahin mo ng matuwa ka!

"Tuparin ang mga pangarap. Obligasyon mo yan sa sarili mo. Kung gusto mo mang kumain ng balde-baldeng lupa para malagay ka sa Guinness Book of World Records at maipagmalaki ng bansa natin, sige lang. Nosi balasi. Wag mong pansinin ang sasabihin ng mga taong susubok humarang sa'yo. Kung hindi nagsumikap ang mga scientist noon, hindi pa rin tayo dapat nakatira sa jupiter ngayon. Pero hindi pa rin naman talaga tayo nakatira sa jupiter dahil nga hindi nagsumikap ang mga scientist noon. Kita mo yung moral lesson?"

"Mangarap ka at abutin mo. Wag mong sisihin ang sira mong pamilya, palpak mong syota, pilay mong tuta, o mga lumilipad na ipis. Kung may pagkukulang sa’yo mga magulang mo, pwde kang manisi at maging rebelde. Tumigil ka sa pag-aaral, mag-asawa ka, mag-drugs ka, magpakulay ka ng buhok sa kili-kili. Sa banding huli, ikaw din ang biktima. Rebeldeng walang napatunayan at bait sa sarili."

"Mag-aral maigi. Kung titigil ka sa pag-aaral, manghihinayang ka pagtanda mo dahil hindi mo naranasan ang kakaibang ligayang dulot ng mga araw na walang pasok o suspendido ang klase o absent ang teacher (haaay, sarap!)."

"Bakit ba ayaw matulog ng mga bata sa tanghali, alam ba nilang pag natuto silang umibig e hindi na sila makakatulog kahit gusto nila?"

"Hindi lungkot o takot ang mahirap sa pag-iisa kundi ang pagtanggap na sa bilyon-bilyong tao sa mundo, wala man lang nakipaglaban upang makasama ka."

"Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!"

"Kumain ka na ng siopao na may palamang pusa o maglakad sa bubog nang nakayapak, pero wag na wag kang susubok mag-drugs. Kung hindi mo kayang umiwas, humingi ka ng tulong sa mga magulang mo dahil alam nila kung saan ang mga murang supplier at hindi ka nila iisahan."

"Wag magmadali sa pag-aasawa. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon sa hinaharap, mag-iiba pa ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong di pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang sa kaboses niya si Debbie Gibson o magaling mag-breakdance. Totoong mas importante ang kalooban ng tao higit anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan sa eskwelahan e nagmumukha ring pandesal. Maniwala ka."

"Hindi dahil sa hindi mo naiintindihan ang isang bagay ay kasinungalingan na ito. at hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohanan."

"Ayokong nasasanay sa mga bagay na pwede namang wala sa buhay ko "

"Hinahanap mo nga ba ako o ang kawalan ko?"

"Nalaman kong hindi final exam ang passing rate ng buhay. hindi ito multiple choice, identification, true or false, enumeration or fill-in-the-blanks na sinasagutan kundi essay na isinusulat araw-araw. Huhusgahan ito hindi base sa kung tama o mali ang sagot, kundi base sa kung may kabuluhan ang mga isinulat o wala. Allowed ang erasures."

"Sabi nila, sa kahit ano raw problema, isang tao lang ang makakatulong sa’yo – ang sarili mo. Tama sila. Isinuplong ako ng sarili ko. Kaya siguro namigay ng konsyensya ang Diyos, alam niyang hindi sa lahat ng oras e gumagana ang utak ng tao."

"Nalaman kong marami palang libreng lecture sa mundo, ikaw ang gagawa ng syllabus. Maraming teacher sa labas ng eskuwelahan, desisyon mo kung kanino ka magpapaturo. Lahat tayo enrolled ngayon sa isang university, maraming subject na mahirap, pero dahil libre, ikaw ang talo kung nag-drop ka. Isa-isa tayong ga-graduate, iba't-ibang paraan. tanging diploma ay ang mga alaala ng kung ano mang tulong o pagmamahal ang iniwan natin sa mundong pinangarap nating baguhin minsan...""

"Obligasyon kong maglayag, karapatan kong pumunta sa kung saan ko gusto, responsibilidad ko ang buhay ko."

"Hikayatin mo lahat ng kakilala mo na magkaroon ng kahit isa man lang paboritong libro sa buhay nila. Dahil wala nang mas kawawa pa sa mga taong literado pero hindi nagbabasa."

"Masama akong tao, tulad mo, sa parehong paraan na mabuti kang tao, tulad ko."

"Nalaman kong habang lumalaki ka, maraming beses kang madadapa. Bumangon ka man ulit o hindi, magpapatuloy ang buhay, iikot ang mundo, at mauubos ang oras."

"Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala."

Una sa lahat...

2008-06-29T23:50:00.011+08:00

gusto lang ipagyabang ang ISA sa mga accomplishmentS ng watot ko...

Well done baby! Congrats ng madami! =) Madami dami pa tayong kakaining tinapay (mahal na kasi ang bigas at isa pa kelangan na nating magdiet!) bago natin matikman ang ating pinaka-aasam na american dream pero kapit lang dahil sandali nalang yun ayon ke madam auring! hehe! Ngayon pwede ka nang mang-ingit na paupo-upo ka nalang sa kapihan habang nagbabasa ng pocketbooks na walang kinalaman sa nursing! o diba ang saya-saya!

pero maliban sa pakape-kape at pagbasa ng mga pocket books, marunong ka ring rumaket pang date natin! Oha! Sinong magaakala na ang isang US RN at RPT na katulad natin e tatambay ng isang buong araw sa lilim ng garahe nyo para mag ukay-ukay?! Haha! Ang saya! Libo ang kinita natin ng isang araw lang! Tinaob natin ang kita ng isang call center agent for a day! Ayos!

Ang gusto ko lang talagang sabihin sa buong mundo e IM SO PROUD OF YOU baby! At kahit nakalimutan natin na 37th monthsary pala natin ngayon dahil sa kabusy-han (busy daw?! malamang kakatulog! haha!) gusto kong malaman mo na I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! Parang energizer bunny na keeps going and going and going! =)

Happy 37th monthsary by!

Seasons of Love

2008-06-04T04:26:00.000+08:00

1,576,800 minutes to this date

that's how long we've been together

but honestly, it doesnt seem like it

maybe because we enjoy being with each other

that time stands still

we may have our petty quarrels

senseless fights

word wars

and spats that hurt each one of us

the world may not see it

or they can but didnt mind

but we do

and i believe those things made us even more strong

coz everytime we come to that point

we always came out victorious

and still together

because we both know

that we cant live without each other

admit it or not...

so for the 1, 576,800 minutes shared together...Thank you!

together we'll share billions of minutes more!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH baby!

Cheers!

Current Events

2008-05-23T11:48:00.005+08:00

June 4 - 3 Years na kami ni Adik! Woooohooo! Grabe sinecure nya talaga ang pagkakakabit ng helmet ko, screw yata ang nilagay kaya di matatanggal! Ahaha! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH baby! Thank you for the best 3 years of my life!

June 7 - Kuting's birthday!

June 8 - Yen's birthday!

June 10 - Wedding anniversary of tita and tito jeff, janice & arnold!

June 11 - Adik's big day! Ang pinakahihintay na araw ng watot ko! Break a leg baby! Kaya mo yan! I never doubt your capabilities! Kaw pa e special child ka! Ay, gifted child pala! Ahaha! Go, go, go! Make Florence Nightingale proud, and me proudest! Aja!

June 13 - Mom's Birthday! Happy birthday mommy! We love you!

June 19 - 32nd wedding anniversary of mom & dad!

....and I wouldnt miss June 14 for anything...

Tadan!

Me ticket na kami! Manonood kami ni watot ko ng Avenue Q! Cant wait! So spread the fuzz! Farewell run na! Sana pagpunta namin ni adik ng NY e meron pa nito sa Broadway! I swear panonoorin namin ulit! Hehe!

Tagubilin at Habilin

2008-04-13T04:26:00.000+08:00

Namnamin. Ang ganda ng tula. Parang pinoy version ng 'Everybody's free (to wear sunscreen)' ni Mary Schmich ng Chicago Tribune. Sort of. Salamat ke Ka Pete. Bow ako sayo sir. At salamat din sa blog ni Bianca for posting this.

TAGUBILIN AT HABILIN
Ni Jose F. Lacaba

Mabuhay ka, kaibigan!
Mabuhay ka!
Iyan ang una't huli kong
Tagubilin at habilin:
Mabuhay ka!

Sa edad kong ito, marami akong maibibigay na payo.
Mayaman ako sa payo.

Maghugas ka ng kamay bago kumain.
Maghugas ka ng kamay pagkatapos kumain.
Pero huwag kang maghuhugas ng kamay para lang makaiwas sa sisi.
Huwag kang maghuhugas ng kamay kung may inaapi
Na kaya mong tulungan.

Paupuin sa bus ang matatanda at ang mga may kalong na sanggol.
Magpasalamat sa nagmamagandang-loob.
Matuto sa karanasan ng matatanda
Pero huwag magpatali sa kaisipang makaluma.

Huwag piliting matulog kung ayaw kang dalawin ng antok.
Huwag pag-aksayahan ng panahon ang walang utang na loob.
Huwag makipagtalo sa bobo at baka ka mapagkamalang bobo.
Huwag bubulong-bulong sa mga panahong kailangang sumigaw.

Huwag kang manalig sa bulung-bulungan.
Huwag kang papatay-patay sa ilalim ng pabitin.
Huwag kang tutulog-tulog sa pansitan.

Umawit ka kung nag-iisa sa banyo.
Umawit ka sa piling ng barkada.
Umawit ka kung nalulungkot.
Umawit ka kung masaya.

Ingat lang.

Huwag kang aawit ng “My Way” sa videoke bar at baka ka mabaril.
Huwag kang magsindi ng sigarilyo sa gasolinahan.
Dahan-dahan sa matatarik na landas.
Dahan-dahan sa malulubak na daan.

Higit sa lahat, inuulit ko:

Mabuhay ka, kaibigan!
Mabuhay ka!
Iyan ang una't huli kong
Tagubilin at habilin:
Mabuhay ka!

Maraming bagay sa mundo na nakakadismaya.
Mabuhay ka.
Maraming problema ang mundo na wala na yatang lunas.
Mabuhay ka.

Sa hirap ng panahon, sa harap ng kabiguan,
Kung minsan ay gusto mo nang mamatay.
Gusto mong maglaslas ng pulso kung sawi sa pag-ibig.
Gusto mong uminom ng lason kung wala nang makain.
Gusto mong magbigti kung napakabigat ng mga pasanin.
Gusto mong pasabugin ang bungo mo kung maraming gumugulo sa utak.

Huwag kang patatalo. Huwag kang susuko.

Narinig mo ang sinasabi ng awitin:
“Gising at magbangon sa pagkagupiling,
Sa pagkakatulog na lubhang mahimbing.”
Gumising ka kung hinaharana ka ng pag-ibig.
Bumangon ka kung nananawagan ang kapuspalad.

Ang sabi ng iba: “Ang matapang ay walang-takot lumaban.”
Ang sabi ko naman: Ang tunay na matapang ay lumalaban
Kahit natatakot.

Lumaban ka kung inginungodngod ang nguso mo sa putik.
Bumalikwas ka kung tinatapak-tapakan ka.
Buong-tapang mong ipaglaban ang iyong mga prinsipyo
Kahit hindi ka sigurado na agad-agad kang mananalo.

Mabuhay ka, kaibigan!
Mabuhay ka!
Iyan ang una't huli kong
Tagubilin at habilin:
Mabuhay ka!

Isang maikling patalastas!

2008-03-31T22:09:00.003+08:00

Mitsubishi Lancer GLXi 1994 Model for SALE!!!

Engine 1600cc, 16 valve

5-speed manual transmission

Origal paint - color white exterior

Leather seats

Clean interior

Excellent underchassis

New tires & battery

154+ Mileage

Power steering/power windows

Strong aircon

Original-smooth & quiet engine in excellent running condition

Plate ending in 4

***For those interested, please email me @ cutejuggler@gmail.com, drop a line on the comments section or hit the tagboard! ***

Price: 150K --Negotiable

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...

Now back to regular programming!

You are a lomographer if...

2008-03-18T06:28:00.003+08:00

1. You get excited at the thought of having another lomo cam eventhough you just got a new one.

2. You searched the net anything about lomo.

3. You are looking forward to visit every camera shop to look for lomo cams.

4. Processing labs are your new hang out nowadays.

5. You cant wait to see the outcome of your rolls and doesnt mind the 1-hour wait time or even the processing fee.

6. You cant follow the rule of 5 -- "hintayin mo munang maging 5 rolls bago sumugod sa digiprint!".

7. Your cam is a necessity more than your mobile phone.

8. You dont mind even if people stare at you and wonder what the hell are you holding clicking away tapos magtataka sila bat di digicam ang hawak mo.

9. You cant wait to go back to Hidalgo to buy expired films.

10. You dont want to be out of stock, dapat me isa ,dalawa, tatlo, apat, lima, anim na film kang spare.

11. You dream of making your bedroom wall a lomo wall someday.

12. Your egg tray in the fridge now becomes your 'film tray'.

13. You dont need to learn adobe. The outcome of your shot is a masterpiece as it is.

14. Films are as good as cash as a birthday gift (lots-a, lots-a ha! pero pede ring another lomo cam! hehe!)

15. And last but not the least, after looking at your pictures with crazy colors, multiple exposures and out of focus shots such as these

sasabihin mo sa sarili mo 'Wow, hanep ang ganda!'

Lomo Loco

2008-03-16T23:01:00.005+08:00

Presenting my new baby courtesy of my baby Adik!

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....

...

Taran!

HOLGA 135 Lomo cam!

I was so happy when adik gave this to me as an advanced birthday gift. Thank you so much baby! Natuwa talaga ako pramis. Kala ko film lang ang kaya mo e! Ahaha! I so love my Holga! Isa na namang addiction 'to! At magastos na hobby ha! Sabi nga ni adik tapos na daw ang responsibilidad nya ke Holga. Ako na daw ang bahalang mamoblema sa pagbili ng sangdamakmak na films at pagprorocess nun. Cge na nga ako ng bahala dun! Malay mo isa rin 'to sa ikayaman ntin! Ahaha! Wish!

Do check out my first taste of lomography on my multiply site
CJ's Multiply

I kindda like the output of my shots. Sympre noh love your own! hehe! Im hoping I'll improve as time goes by. Bsta ang importante I love what I do and I do it for fun! Yun na yun!

Natuwa ako d2:

THE FIVE FUNDAMENTALS OF HOLGA

1. FREE YOURSELF FROM RULES
Holga neither knows nor respects any rules. Its sheer simplicity is your key to power. Think of Holga not as a camera but as a paintbrush, liberally splashing your medium-format canvass with exactly the elements that you choose. Envision your desire and manipilate your Holga to bring them into reality.

2. EMRACE RANDOM RESULTS
Holga is a loose cannon, an unpredictable partner who sometimes makes its own decision despite your most strident attempts at control. Many times, your best creations will be the result of your most foolish mistakes or oversights. Dont fight it! Roll with the punches and stay flexible.

3. DISARM YOUR SUBJECTS
Holga is not one to be taken seriously. It looks oversized, kinda clumsy, a little toy like, and definitely not intimidating. Your subjects will relax, have fun, and open up for your lens. Let yourself flow right along with Holga's innate power to strip away pretence and posturing.

4. ENGAGE INDIVIDUALITY
Each Holga is unique and different from the rest. Some produce brighter images, some more colorful images. Appreciate these inherent quirks and seek to employ several Holgas for a range of results.

5. GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY
The simplistic mechanics of Holga invites you to play with them. Dive inside its inner workings and discover what makes the Holga tick. Experiment with different modifications and treatments.

AND PLEASE, DONT FORGET TO TAKE OFF THE LENS CAP!
YOUR LOMOGRAPHIC SOCIETY

Haha! Panalo!

Barack Obama's Open Letter to the LGBT Community

2008-03-15T00:15:00.004+08:00

Never in the history of American presidential elections has the LGBT Community’s vote been so aggressively sought as during the 2008 race for the Oval Office. The following is an open letter from Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama to the LGBT community. For comparison of both Democratic candidates in regards to gay issues, please refer to Senator Clinton’s Open Letter to the LGBT Community, also found on this website. The following is Obama’s letter in its entirety.

An Open Letter to the LGBT Community:

I’m running for President to build an America that lives up to our founding promise of equality for all – a promise that extends to our gay brothers and sisters. It’s wrong to have millions of Americans living as second-class citizens in this nation. And I ask for your support in this election so that together we can bring about real change for all LGBT Americans.

Equality is a moral imperative. That’s why throughout my career, I have fought to eliminate discrimination against LGBT Americans. In Illinois, I co-sponsored a fully inclusive bill that prohibited discrimination on the basis of both sexual orientation and gender identity, extending protection to the workplace, housing, and places of public accommodation. In the U.S. Senate, I have co-sponsored bills that would equalize tax treatment for same-sex couples and provide benefits to domestic partners of federal employees. And as president, I will place the weight of my administration behind the enactment of the Matthew Shepard Act to outlaw hate crimes and a fully inclusive Employment Non-Discrimination Act to outlaw workplace discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity.

As your President, I will use the bully pulpit to urge states to treat same-sex couples with full equality in their family and adoption laws. I personally believe that civil unions represent the best way to secure that equal treatment. But I also believe that the federal government should not stand in the way of states that want to decide on their own how best to pursue equality for gay and lesbian couples — whether that means a domestic partnership, a civil union, or a civil marriage. Unlike Senator Clinton, I support the complete repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) – a position I have held since before arriving in the U.S. Senate. While some say we should repeal only part of the law, I believe we should get rid of that statute altogether. Federal law should not discriminate in any way against gay and lesbian couples, which is precisely what DOMA does. I have also called for us to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and I have worked to improve the Uniting American Families Act so we can afford same-sex couples the same rights and obligations as married couples in our immigration system.

The next president must also address the HIV/AIDS epidemic. When it comes to prevention, we do not have to choose between values and science. While abstinence education should be part of any strategy, we also need to use common sense. We should have age-appropriate sex education that includes information about contraception. We should pass the JUSTICE Act to combat infection within our prison population. And we should lift the federal ban on needle exchange, which could dramatically reduce rates of infection among drug users. In addition, local governments can protect public health by distributing contraceptives. We also need a president who’s willing to confront the stigma – too often tied to homophobia– that continues to surround HIV/AIDS. I confronted this stigma directly in a speech to evangelicals at Rick Warren’s Saddleback Church, and will continue to speak out as president.

That is where I stand on the major issues of the day. But having the right positions on the issues is only half the battle. The other half is to win broad support for those positions. And winning broad support will require stepping outside our comfort zone. If we want to repeal DOMA, repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and implement fully inclusive laws outlawing hate crimes and discrimination in the workplace, we need to bring the message of LGBT equality to skeptical audiences as well as friendly ones – and that’s what I’ve done throughout my career. I brought this message of inclusiveness to all of America in my keynote address at the 2004 Democratic convention. I talked about the need to fight homophobia when I announced my candidacy for President, and I have been talking about LGBT equality to a number of groups during this campaign – from local LGBT activists to rural farmers to parishioners at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta, where Dr. Martin Luther King once preached.

Just as important, I have been listening to what all Americans have to say. I will never compromise on my commitment to equal rights for all LGBT Americans. But neither will I close my ears to the voices of those who still need to be convinced. That is the work we must do to move forward together. It is difficult. It is challenging. And it is necessary.

Americans are yearning for leadership that can empower us to reach for what we know is possible. I believe that we can achieve the goal of full equality for the millions of LGBT people in this country. To do that, we need leadership that can appeal to the best parts of the human spirit. Join with me, and I will provide that leadership. Together, we will achieve real equality for all Americans, gay and straight alike.

Barack Obama

link

For You, a thousand times over!

2008-03-14T03:07:00.001+08:00

Finally, Im done reading it. As always, can't put a good book down. Maganda. Nakakaiyak. Nakakatouch. Stirred every kind of emotion in me. Kaya tuloy naging interesado ako sa Afghanistan, Taliban and the likes. I was actually searching the net for it. Google earth pa para makita ang Kabul. Hindi ko alam kung magugustuhan ko din ang film. Di pa kasi namin napapanood but I'd love to see it also. Kaya naman panay ang tanong ko sa aking suking neighborhood store kung me available na kaso wala pa raw kopya kaya bukas isa sa mga agenda namin ni adik ang maghanap! hehe!

Read it and Im 101% sure that you'll like it. Tama na ang romance novel. Try nyo 'to! Maganda, pramis!

2008-03-10T01:30:00.002+08:00

One of my friends is flying for the states today. It's good to know that her hopes and dreams are starting to unfold before her eyes. Tagal na rin nyang inantay yun and and Im happy that all of her hard work paid off. As of this moment, malamang nagchecheck in na ang lola ko. Excited yun sympre. Start of a new life for her. At sabi ko nga sa kanya kanina, kitakits nalang dun pag kumpleto na ang barkada tapos roadtrip na! Yey! Usapan na naming college magbabarkada yan. Di man kami sabay sabay makapunta dun at magkakaiba iba man kami ng state na pupuntahan pero promise namin sa isa't isa pag andun na ang buong barakada, we're gonna go rockin' USA!

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I have moments of temporary insanity and kapraningan. Everyone does, I know thatfor sure! It usually happens when frustrations start to hit me. Minsan nakakafrustate talaga ang mga bagay-bagay you dont have any control of. Pero sabi nga ni tita ganun talaga yun. Mas maeenjoy mo ang mga bagay na alam mong talagang pinaghirapan mo, and I second the motion. Medyo sa mga panahong ito e talagang maikli ang pisi ko. Pasensya na pero tao lang. But Im really trying to control my temper kaya ang mantra ko ngayon e ang mantra ni Dr. Bailey ng Grey's anatomy -- I AM RISING ABOVE!

(re)GROWTH

2008-03-03T23:32:00.005+08:00

If you were falling, then I would catch you.
You need a light, I'd find a match.
Cause I love the way you say good morning.
And you take me the way I am.

If you are chilly, here take my sweater.
Your head is aching, I'll make it better.
Cause I love the way you call me baby.
And you take me the way I am.

I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair.
Sew on patches to all you tear.
Cause I love you more than I could ever promise.
And you take me the way I am.

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Talagang intentional ang pakabold ng mga linyang yan. Yung una, sisiguraduhin kong yan ang una sa list ng mga bibilhin ko pag sumweldo na ko ulit! Haha! Yung pangalawa, for real yan! Alang biro, pramis!

33 months and counting...

HAPPY MONTHSARY Baby!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

For Better or for BEST! Yeah!

Homophobia

2008-03-03T02:11:00.002+08:00

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

I am the man who fears that I will never be able to be myself, to be free of this secret because I won’t risk losing my family and friends.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

Iam the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didnt have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don’t believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to “teach me a lesson”.

IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG … REPOST THIS ON YOUR BLOG...

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...Because there are other WORST things than being gay...

Hindi ako MASOKISTA!

2008-02-27T01:47:00.004+08:00

Ayoko mang tanggapin pero totoo nga ata! Kagaya ngayon, dapat natutulog na ko pero ano? Eto kanina pa ko nakaharap sa pc at nakikipagpalitan ng email sa TX Board at sa FCCPT kasi umaga ngayon sa kanila at gabi naman dito kaya eto sinasabayan ko sila sa pagtratrabaho! Yun nga lang iba ang trinatrabaho ko! Haha, sounds bastos pero hindi, pramis!

Kung tutuusin wala na dapat akong iniintindi dahil me lisensya na ko, yun nga lang sa IL ang lisensya ko at nasa TX naman ang employer ko so anong ibig sabihin nun? Isa lang...kelangan kong magpa-endorse sa TX bago ako makapagtrabaho! E ang siste, TX ang state na maraming requirements bago ka makapasok, in short mahirap at dadaan ka muna sa butas ng karayom bago ka bigyan ng lisensya! At yun ang nangyayari sa kin ngayon!

Sa summer balik school ako. Bakit kamo? Kasi kulang ang curriculum ng pinas compared sa curriculum ng TX! Naknang! I need to take up Biology, comparative physio and another psychology course! Ang saya diba!

E bakit nga ba ko nagpapakahirap pa? Ewan ko ba, tanong ko din yan!

Still Im hopeful.

Di bale this too shall pass at after ng lahat ng 'to for sure yayaman na si adik! Amen!

Road Block

2008-02-20T14:33:00.003+08:00

Parang sa Amazing Race, dapat dumaan ang isang team sa road block para makarating sa next level. Pag wala nun e di hanggang dyan ka nalang, di ka na makakarating sa next level kaya dapat daanan mo talaga sya at malampasan mo.

Yan ata ang nangyayari ngayon.

Pero keri lang. I've had them and everybody has had them but that wont stop me.

Baka it's God's way of saying 'Anak, bakasyon ka muna...yun nga lang wala kang pera, leave without pay yan e!'

Nyahaha!

This is definitely out of boredom!

2008-02-12T22:19:00.000+08:00

Sabi sa horoscope ko for the year:

"...Seize the opportunity to think things through during the first few months of the year. Even though you enjoy beginning new projects, make the time to relax a bit to complement your natural tendency toward activity, both physical and otherwise. "

Sige na nga, RELAX! Pero naman nabobored na ko kakarelax! Siguro sanay lang talaga ang katawan ko sa trabaho, ng may ginagawa. But I know I owe it to myself na magrelax naman after kong magsunog ng kilay kakareview! Di bale after kong matapos lahat ng docs I need for my endorsement, kayod na ulit!

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I want adik and I to tour the Philippines...sa Bora, sa Palawan, Davao, Camiguin, Sagada, etc., etc., pagkatapos nun magtotour kami sa lahat ng state ng US, tpos sa Europe naman. Kaka-excite isipin. Wishful thinking? Nah! IT WILL HAPPEN! And when it does, we'll show you our pics! hehe!

PT ako, Nurse sya and PT pa = Lotsa mojos! Haha! That's the spirit! Yeah!

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Valentine na...E ano naman? Sabi ni adik ayaw daw nya ng flowers or chocolates, perahin ko nalang daw! Pera ba kamo? Pera it is! Charing!

Magdadate nalang kami after Vday. I want to watch JUMPER. Mukhang maganda. And ENDO of Cinemalaya. Either of the two. Kung anong trip ni adik!

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Isa lang ang masasabi ko sa Cloverfield movie....IT SUCKS!!!! Big time! Sumakit lang ang ulo ko! Muntik pang magblow si adik sa hilo! Kung di pa kayo kuntento sa mga sakit ng ulo sa buhay nyo, panoorin nyo 'to! Baon nalang kayo ng Tylenol or Advil! Hehe!

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Ganito talaga pag sobrang RELAX ka, pati utak di na gumagana! Haha!

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"Lord, make this day better than yesterday"

I wish I was 6 again!

2008-02-10T13:20:00.000+08:00

First, some of us survived being born to mothers who did not have an OB-Gyne and drank San Miguel Beer while they carried us.

While pregnant, they took cold or cough medicine, ate isaw, and didn't worry about diabetes.

Then after all that trauma, our baby cribs were made of hard wood covered with lead-based paints, pati na yung walker natin, matigas na kahoy din at wala pang gulong.

We had no soft cushy cribs that play music, no disposable diapers (lampin lang), and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, no kneepads , sometimes wala pang preno yung bisikleta.

As children, we would ride in hot un-airconditioned buses with wooden seats (yung JD bus na pula), or cars with no airconditioning & no seat belts (ngayon lahat may aircon na)

Riding on the back of a carabao on a breezy summer day was considered a treat. (ngayon hindi na nakakakita ng kalabaw ang mga bata)

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle purchased from 711 ( minsan straight from the faucet or poso)

We shared one soft drink bottle with four of our friends, and NO ONE actually died from this. Or contacted hepatitis.

We ate rice with star margarine, drank raw eggs straight from the shell, and drank sofdrinks with real sugar in it (hindi diet coke), but we weren't sick or overweight kasi nga......

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, and get back when the streetlights came on. Sarap mag patintero, tumbang preso , habulan at taguan.

No one was able to reach us all day ( di uso ang cellphone , walang beepers ) . And yes, we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our wooden trolleys (yung bearing ang gulong) or plywood slides out of scraps and then ride down the street , only to find out we forgot the brakes! After hitting the sidewalk or falling into a canal (seweage channel) a few times, we learned to solve the problem ourselves with our bare & dirty hands .

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 100 channels on cable, no DVD movies, no surround stereo, no IPOD's, no cell phones, no computers, no Internet, no chat rooms, and no Friendsters. ...... ...WE HAD REAL FRIENDS and we went outside to actually talk and play with them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no stupid lawsuits from these accidents. The only rubbing we get is from our friends with the words..masakit ba ? pero pag galit yung kalaro mo, ang sasabihin sa iyo..beh buti nga !

We played marbles (jolens) in the dirt , washed our hands just a little and ate dirty ice cream & fish balls. we were not afraid of getting germs in our stomachs. We had to live with homemade guns, gawa sa kahoy, tinali ng rubberband , sumpit , tirador at kung ano ano pa na puedeng makasakitan pero masaya pa rin ang lahat. We made up games with sticks ( syatong ), and cans ( tumbang preso ) and although we were told they were dangerous, wala naman tayong binulag o napatay. paminsan minsan may nabubukulan lang. We walked, rode bikes, or took tricycles to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them to jump out the window!

Mini basketball teams had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't pass had to learn to deal with the disappointment. Wala yang mga childhood depression at damaged self esteem ek-ek na yan. Ang pikon, talo.

Ang magulang ay nandoon lang para tignan kung ayos lang ang mga bata, hindi para makialam at makipag-away sa ibang parents.

That generation of ours has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers, creative thinkers and successful professionals ever! They are the CEO's, Engineers, Doctors and Military Generals of today.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had failure, success, and responsibility. We learned from our mistakes the hard way.

simple together

2008-02-07T01:54:00.000+08:00

happy together

limitless together

precious together

sexy together

evolving together

family together

genius together

healing together

growing together

adventurous together

exploring together

inspired together

flying together

ON FIRE together...

...AND HAPPILY I AM NOT MISTAKEN...

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH Baby!

???

2008-01-19T19:42:00.000+08:00

Ano ang pakiramdam na nahihiya ang partner mo na makita ka sa lugar nila at ng mga kapitbahay na nakapaligid sa kanila?

Ano ang pakiramdam ng hindi ka maipakilala sa mga kamag-anak niya?

Ano ang pakiramdam ng hindi ka makapunta sa bahay nila dahil alam mong hindi ka naman welcome at kahit anong gawin mo e hinding hindi ka matatanggap ng pamilya nya dahil lesbyana ka?

Tanungin mo ko kung anong pakiramdam at alam na alam ko ang sagot dyan.

----

Kagabi nagkita kita kami ng mga barkada ko nung college. Masaya. Namiss namin ang isa't isa. Halos lahat pamilyadong tao na. After 9 years ganun pa din kami, parang mga bata, nagkukulitan, nagaasaran, nagbobolahan. Alam na alam na namin ang hilatsa ng isa't isa. Kahit sangkatutak na asaran e ok lang, walang napipikon dahil pag napikon ka e lalo kang pagdidiskitahan! Dumating kasi galing Canada yung 2 kong barkadang mag-asawa at ang nakakatuwa e after 5 years nilang magkasama e si misis e on the way na. God's gift talaga. Nakakatuwa silang tignan. Ang sweet sweet pa rin nila. Para pa rin silang mag bf-gf lang. Makikita mo talaga ng inlove pa rin sila sa isa't isa kahit 5 taon na silang nagsasama. Parang pag tinignan mo sila e di sila nag-aaway. Na napaka-smooth sailing ng pagsasama nila. Ang saya nilang tignan. Nakakatuwa. Nakakainggit.

Ganun ang pinapangarap ko. Gusto ko na pag nakita kami ng partner ko ng mga kaibigan ko at ng ibang tao e maiingit sila ka nakikita nilang pagmamahal. Na papangarapin din nila na sana ganun din ang maging relasyon nila...masaya, tahimik, smooth sailing at puno ng pagmamahal.

Siguro nga me kulang.

Minsan mahirap talagang mag-isip.

I wouldn't Miss this for the world!

2008-01-13T23:55:00.000+08:00

MARCH 5

8:00 pm

ARANETA CENTER

Rock & Roll!!!!!

Awake, Alert, Alive, Enthusiastic!

2007-10-12T00:46:00.000+08:00

I thought this blog is dead, pero dahil birthday mo bubuhayin natin uli!

glitter-graphics.com

You might be getting older but you are way much wiser now.
You might not have all the riches in the world that you dreamed of but you have everything that money can't buy.

I am proud of you and what you have achieved,
and together we'll walk towards one goal hand in hand with God in between.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Baby!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

Tagay!

"Freedom is the right of all sentient beings."

2007-07-09T18:44:00.000+08:00

I must admit at first I was hesitant to watch it. I was more of a fan of the Voltes V than them. But yesterday, spontaneously we just decided to watch it anyway. And now Im a fan!

Transformers rock!
Optimus Prime is hot! Way hotter than Fergie's Boyfriend! Haha!

And I was surprised to see that part of it was filmed in Qatar! I suddenly miss the dunes, the sight, the sound, the smell and of course my wonderful friends on that side of the world!

And as the tagline goes, IT'S MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE!

Watch it people! Relax, see a movie!

FYI: Qatar is the home of the largest US Airbase, a CIA base, US special forces and numerous expatriate compunds in the Middle East.

Just for Laughs

2007-07-02T08:57:00.000+08:00

While I was walking along Morayta, I suddenly stop to a halt and I couldnt resist not to take a picture of this...

Ahaha! Only in the Philippines! =)

P.S.

Sa mga naghahanap ng apartment! Call na!

2007-06-04T13:38:00.000+08:00

You've seen my worst
and I've seen yours...

your worst plus my worst
equals total disaster

But

we both know we can't live without each other
that's why amidst all the hardship, adjustments and battles we have to face
we're still here
TOGETHER...

so

To my best friend and worst enemy...

HAPPY 2nd Year ANNIVERSARY!

Cheers to us Baby!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

After Sometime

2007-04-04T04:18:00.000+08:00

Today concludes the last day of our review! At last! Pero sabi nga ni sir G di daw sya nalulungkot dahil alam nyang makikita pa rin nya kami sa mga susunod na batch...makikisit-in! Korak! At ganun na nga yun! At tama din sya sa dati nyang sinabi...matatapos daw ang review na parang wala daw kaming natandaan! Haha! Alam na alam na nya pramis!

Hay madami pa akong kailangang basahin at aralin! As in! Feeling ko parang ngayon pa lang ako makakaconcentrate! Wish ko lang makaconcentrate nga! In fairness friends na kami ni Sullivan! Mahal ko na nga sya e! Hehe!

At dahil di na ako masyado nakakapagblog, eto nalang ang basahin nyo ADIKsaKIN ...updated to pramis! Just click the link!

At sya nga pala...22nd monthsary na namin! Grabe bilis ha! 2 months nalang 2 years na! Sino kaya ang mas matiisin sa amin! Malamang ako! Haha!

HAPPY 22nd Monthsary Baby!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

Dilaw

2007-01-08T04:09:00.000+08:00

salamin lang ang pagitan natin sa mga ulap
nakalaro natin ang mga isda sa dagat
magkasabay natin sinalubong ang bawat hampas ng alon
naakyat ang tuktok kahit na hindi ito ang pinakamataas na bundok
naglakad sa ilalim ng mga bituin
kumain
nahimbing
nagdasal
at umaasang sa mga susunod na panahon
hawak kamay pa rin nating haharapin ang bawat umaga...

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH baby!
Thank you for the best 3 days of my life! =)

.
..
...
Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah they were all yellow
I came along I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called yellow
Your skin Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know
you know I love you so
You know I love you so...

Merry Christmas!!!!

2006-12-12T02:20:00.000+08:00

Back from the long hiatus! Kasi naman busy-busihan ako sa review e! Mahirap talagang magpanggap pramis! Hehe! Anyways, kahit sobrang init pa rin sa pinas kahit December na, Im happy to be home!

And as a year ender, we're flying to Bohol! Yipeee! Makikita na ni adik ang mga nawawala nyang kapatid na tarsier!

Hay sa wakas makakasakay na rin ng airplane si adik! Haha!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH baby!

P.S:
Sabi ni adik di daw sya excited! Hay naku neknek mo! Kaw pa di ma-eexcite! Aminin! Haha!
Mwah!

PPSS:
HAVE A HAPPY HOLIDAYS PEOPLE!!! :)
Hope the coming year will be better for all of us!
Peace!

For my Better Half

2006-10-12T04:31:00.000+08:00

HaPPy BiRthDaY BaBy!!!

-----

Salamat ke nay & tay dahil ginawa ka nila

dahil kung hindi, e di wala sanang AdikSaKin ngayon! Ahaha!

Cant wait for our date later!

Sympre pa lilibre mo ko e! Hehe!

I sure hope you'll have a great day baby!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

16th Na!

2006-10-03T16:11:00.000+08:00

at dahil di na ko makakapagblog bukas
ngayon ko nalang sasabihin na...

HaPPy 16th MoNtHSaRy baby!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

I'll date you when I get home! Pramis!
Kahit saan, kahit kelan...basta ikaw magbabayad ha! Ahaha!
We are indeed blessed!
We're off to a brand new start...together!
Can't wait to see you, hug you & kiss you!
I'll be home in no time!

2006-10-02T16:25:00.000+08:00

Thank You Lord

for

the

Butterflies!

Pinasaya mo ko dun ah! Thank You po! Sa uulitin ha!

In Your time everything will fall into place...

Yours is the glory Lord.

Amen!

See you soon!

2006-10-01T15:24:00.000+08:00

Last friday was a blast. The gang gave me a surprise farewell party. I was caught off guard. Na-touch ako pramis! Hehe! It was totally unexpected. Kala ko magdidinner lang kami. Aba nag dinner nga pero dami nila surprise! Hay I will definitely miss you all guys!

I dont like goodbyes. Masakit sa dibdib yun.

Im starting to feel a bit sad. Excited but sad at the same time. Dagdagan mo pa ng konting takot because of the fear of the unknown. Pero I have plans kaya Im sure adik & I will make it through.

My packing is almost done. I didnt expect I have so much things. Well, maybe I just underestimate it. Kala ko lang nung una konti lang ang ipapack ko, madami pala!

I'll miss my friends, our tambay moments, videoke with matching dance steps, inuman sessions, yosi breaks, malling, eating out, swimming at lahat lahat na ng kalokohang nagawa namin! They've been family to me and I can't thank them enough for showing me what real friends are for. Mga sis and bro, I LOVE YOU to pieces! at kahit mawawala na ang beauty ko sa doha, Im just a txt, fone call, YM, & email away! I still got your backs!

4 days to go & I'll be flying home. I'll start anew but all I will never forget all the things I've learned, all the friends that I've made and all those souls who touched me in one way or another. I will forever be grateful to all of you.

I'll miss you all but this is not goodbye...i'll just say, I'll see you soon!

Feels like Im checking out in a hotel. Leaving not a trace but just memories. Parang gusto isulat sa wall ng kwarto ko, 'Jen was here!' Hehe!

Im coming home.

In retrospect

2006-09-27T04:32:00.000+08:00

Ex’s.

That was the topic of the day. From morning till night.

A friend asked a while back, ‘Ikaw jen di ka na ba galit kay <insert name of ex here>?’

It made me think.

A minute passed before I answered, ‘Noon oo pero hindi na ngayon.’

Every person who was hurt has every right to be angry. I, for one is not an exception.

The person whom I entrusted my life with is the very same person who shattered me into pieces. And it took me a while to pick up the pieces of my broken self.

I was scarred. Too scarred to even recognize my own self. It was ugly.

But those scars made me the person that I am today. Better and definitely stronger. My demons are still everywhere and they still show up time and again but I faced them head on.

In time, everything will come in full circle.

Girls will be girls. Boys will be boys. And ex will be ex.

Period.

Me talking

2006-09-20T05:34:00.000+08:00

15 days.

Hala! Malapit na!

Madami pa akong dapat gawin pero ni isa wala pa kong nauumpisahan, except for my clearance. I already submitted my passport to immigration. Two days before my flight ko pa daw makukuha. No problemo.

Sa friday me gimik ang tropa. We're off to sealine. Makikijam sa sand dunes ng Qatar. Kelangan matuloy coz it's gonna be the first and the last time na makakapunta ko dun. Sa tinagal tagal ko dito, di pa ko nakakapunta dun. Better late than never.

Nakakatamad ng gumising sa umaga para pumasok. At anong oras na ngayon gising pa rin ako.

Ramadan na naman next week. And to all my muslim brothers & sisters, Ramadan Kareem sa inyo. After ramadan Eid na. Bakasyon grande na naman sila. Di na ko kasali nun kasi wala na ko dito by that time! Hehe!

Takot magutom si adik. Sabi ko sa kanya wag syang mag-alala dahil di ko naman sya gugutumin. Aba magwewelga ang mga anaconda namin pag nangyari yun! Hindi pwede! Paminsan minsan pede siguro ako tumambay sa Makati Ave. para me ipangdate! Mga 2 o 3 customer pede na! Joke! =)

Naranasan ko ng magkaron. Naranasan ko na rin ang mawalan. Ng pera. Kahit anong gawin mo bilog talaga ang mundo. Kahit na meron ka, me time na mawawalan ka or masho-short ka. Parang kapag me saya, meron ding lungkot. Minsan me pera, minsan naman wala. Ganun lang kasimple yun. Yin Yang. No big deal. Ang importante sa mga ganyang pagkakataon, matuto kang makuntento. Sabi nga ng nanay ko, 'wag mong hanapin ang wala. magpasalamat ka sa kung anong meron.' Yes ma.

Si adik ang manager at accountant ng milyong milyon naming anda! Ahaha! Sabi nya akala daw nya aabutin ng milyon ang maiuuwi ko! Mas malakas na AHAHAHA! Pucha kahit na ugatin ako dito at mag-expire na ang matres ko di aabot ng milyones yun noh! Wish ko lang!

Kung pwede lang magdonate ng matres, ginawa ko na! Uy ganda lahi namin ha. Pango nga lang. Ay, ako lang pala.

Pero takot talagang magutom si adik! Swear di kita gugutumin. Takot ko lang sa tatay at nanay mo. Baka di lang hambalos ang abutin ko! Hehe!

1:30 na ng madaling araw. 6:30 ng umaga sa pinas. Ako na dapat tulog na e gising pa. Si adik na dapat gising na e tulog pa. Baliktad ha. Pahirapan na naman gumising neto mamya.

Hay gusto ko ng twister fries ng McDo!

Kung Ibig Mo Akong Makilala

2006-09-19T19:00:00.000+08:00

Kung ibig mo akong makilala,
lampasan mo ang guhit ng mahugis na balat,
ang titig kong dagat--
yumayapos ng mahigpit sa bawat saglit
ng kahapon ko't bukas.

Kung ibig mo akong makilala
sunduin mo ako sa himlayang dilim
at sa madlang pagsukol ng inunang hilahil,
ibangon ako at saka palayain.

Isang pag-ibig na lipos ng lingap,
tahanang malaya sa pangamba at sumbat
may suhay ng tuwa't ang kaluwalhatia'y
walang takda --
ialay mo lahat ito sa akin
kung mahal mo ako't ibig kilalanin.

Kung ibig mo akong kilalanin,
sisirin mo ako hanggang buto,
liparin mo ako hanggang utak,
umilanlang ka hanggang kaluluwa --
hubad ako roon: mula ulo hanggang paa.

---ni Ruth Elynia S. Mabanglo

Huwag Kang Mangako ng Kailanpaman

2006-09-18T17:50:00.000+08:00

Huwag kang mangako ng kailanpaman
At baka 'di ko mapapantayan
Huwag kang mangako ng habangbuhay
At baka di mo ako mahintay

Huwag kang mangusap ng kailanpaman
Kahit magdusa't daigdig ma'y pasan
Di kailangang matinik na landas
Upang patunayang pagsuyo'y wagas

Sana nga bukas tulad ngayon
Ang ating pagsasama
Sana paglipas ng panahon
Di ka magiiba

Ngunit

Wag mong sabihin ang kailanman pa man
Tama na sa 'king ibigin minsan
Wag mong sabihin gano katagal
Tama nang gano mo ko kamahal

Sana nga bukas tulad ngayon
Ang ating pagsasama
Sana paglipas ng panahon
Di ka magiiba

Ngunit

Huwag kang mangako ng kailanpaman
At baka di ko matutumbasan
At kung ang ating landas magsanga
Malayang damdamin ang magpapasya

---gary granada

Magulo

2006-09-18T16:28:00.000+08:00

sa Accident & Emergency ng ospital...
dito sa villa...
dun sa lansangan...
ang mga sasakyang nag-uunahan...
sa abangan ng taxi...
sa mall lalo na kapag byernes at sabado...
sa police station kanina...

PERO

pinakamagulo ang takbo ng utak ko...

Crossroads

2006-09-17T02:15:00.000+08:00

Eto ata ang tawag dun.

Yung tipong di mo alam kung san ka pupunta. Pakanan ba o pakaliwa. Paatras o paabante. Minsan mapapatunganga ka lang sa kakaisip kung anong dapat gawin. Hihinto sandali para timbangin ang mga bagay-bagay. Hindi mo kasi hawak ang kapalaran.

Nakakatakot. Nakakapraning.

Pero sa sarili mo, alam mong di dapat maging hadlang ang takot para matupad ang pangarap. Ilusyon lang yun.

Sabi nga ng isang kaibigan ko sa profile nya sa friendster, “If you want to achieve your dream in life, you have to be aggressive, and find fuel in any failure. You should not think of anything except what you’re trying to accomplish.”

Swak.

Kaya jen, F...O...C...U...S!

2006-09-17T02:03:00.000+08:00

Lately I've been winning battles left and right

But even winners can get wounded in the fight

People say that I'm amazing,

I am strong beyond my years

But they don't see inside of me,

I'm hiding all the tears

They don't know that I come running home when I fall down

They don't know who picks me up when no one is around

I drop my sword and cry for just a while

Coz deep inside this armor

The warrior is a child.

Pilgrim's Theme

2006-09-12T14:16:00.000+08:00

Tired of weaving dreams too loose for me to wear
Tired of watching clouds repeat their dance on air
Tired of getting tired of doing what's required
Is life a mere routine in the greater scheme of things

Through with taking roads someone else designed
Through with chasing stars that soon forget to shine
Through with going through one more day - what's new
Does my life still mean a thing in the greater scheme of things

I think I'll follow the voice that calls within
Dance to the silent song it sings
I hope to find my place
So my life can fall in place
I know in time I'll find my place
In the greater scheme of things

Each must go his way, but how can I decide
Which path I should take, who will be my guide
I need some kind of star to lead me somewhere far
To find a higher dream in the greater scheme of things

The road before me bends, I don't know what I'll find
Will I meet a friend or ghosts I left behind
Should I even be surprised that You're with me in disguise
For it's Your hand I have seen in the greater scheme of things

Grateful

2006-09-08T02:12:00.000+08:00

I've been listening to christmas songs I've just downloaded from the net. How time really flies. It's the start of 'Ber' months again. And thinking about it makes me excited! What excites me more is the thought that after 4 years of being away from home during the holidays, I'll be celebrating christmas and new year again at home, with an added bonus that adik & I will celebrate it together.

Nice!

Nah.

It's fantastic!

Now I can really say that I'll be home for christmas.

Christmas last year was a drag. I guess the christmas spirit didn't get into me. I was really down in the dumps and I was too busy consoling myself and getting angry at the world. And it was due to some circumstances that I have no control of.

I became Ms. Scrooge. And I hated every second of it.

But after a while I realized that things really did happen for a reason. It will just take some time for you to understand and learn all about it. But you'll get through no matter what.

I know that this christmas will be better than last year or the year before.

I'll be home.

I have adik.

What more can I ask for?! (actually meron pa...lots and lots of prayers! amen! hehe!)

30..29..28..

2006-09-06T04:09:00.000+08:00

It's official.

I submitted my resignation letter a week ago, and now Im counting the days. Im doing all the things I need to accomplish before I go. I dont wanna go leaving behind things not in order. I already said goodbye to fordy so for the rest of the month I'll be going to work by means of a transport. I settled some of the bills that I need to settle, the rest I'll settle few days before I leave. I still have more or less 3 weeks to pack my things. Im used to that, I can do it in a flash.

2 boxes. 1 luggage. And a carry on. That will suffice. But I probably need to air freight some of my things ahead of me.

And that's packing 4 years of my life here.

Wow.

So I guess this is it.

Cant wait to go home and start my life anew.

And pray hard that things will go as planned. God willing.

30 days and counting.

Huwag Ka Sanang Magagalit

2006-09-04T07:30:00.000+08:00

Huwag ka sanang magagalit
kung sasabihin ko
na hanap-hanap ka
ng aking mga tula.

Huwag ka sanang maiilang
kung tuwing umuulan
isip-isip ko ang init
ng ating katawan.

Ngayon, butas lamang
sa langit ang lahat ng bituin,
Ngayon, sukatan lamang ang buwan
ng layo mo sa akin.

Anumang kuwento
ang simulan ko’y
sa iyo rin nauuwi.
Sa bawat aklat
na aking buklatin
naroroon ang iyong tingin.

Alam ko:
may sarili kang tanong
na dapat sagutin;
may sarili kang misteryo
na dapat harapin.
Huwag magmadali: panahon ngayon
ng liwanag at sari-saring dilim;
Oras ng sugat at lamig
at ng paurong-sulong na pagpapaumanhin.

Ngunit "ELLYN", mahal,
pinakamatalik kong kaibigan,
huwag ka sanang magagalit
huwag ka sanang maiilang
kung aking sasabihin

na tuwing humihinga ako
naaamoy kita,
na tuwing pumipikit ako,
ikaw ang nagiging umaga

~Ramon C. Sunico~

.....
....
...
..
.
Isang buwan nalang magkakasama na ulit tayo
Hindi na ko makahintay
Dahil alam kong eto na ang umpisa
ng matagal na nating inaantay
Para sayo gagawin ko ang lahat
Pipiliting tuparin lahat ng pangarap
Basta alam kong andyan ka lang lagi sa tabi ko
Naniniwala...
Umaagapay...
at laging nagmamahal...

Happy 15th monthsary baby!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

Alipin (Saguiguilid o Namamahay?)

2006-08-24T15:04:00.000+08:00

Ako'y alipin mo kahit hindi batid

Aaminin ko minsan ako'y manhid

Sana ay iyong naririnig

Sayong yakap ako'y nasasabik

Pagkat ikaw lang ang nais makatabi

Malamig man o mainit ang gabi

Nais ko sana iparating na ikaw lamang

Ang siyang aking iibigin...

-Shamrock-

.....

....

...

You will always be the first in my life

everything else comes second...

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH baby!

Missing you badly...

My Ever Dearest Fordy

2006-08-20T04:07:00.000+08:00

It's hard for me to think that a few days from now, you won't be with me. You've been with me for 3 years and within that span of time never once did you let me down. Na-ah. You've been a very reliable friend. You never gave me a headache. I guess it's the other way around! Hehe! Remember the time when I was driving so fast and a stupid land cruiser almost hit us coz he's driving fast as well, and in order not to get hit, i steered immediately to the right but unfortunately, the corner gutter was cut & it was so sharp it hit your tire. How could I forget. I was praying so hard for you not to give up on me before I reach the parking. People are already signaling me to stop and I can feel your tire loosing air fast, but still we made it safely to the parking. And as soon as i turned off ur engine, that's the time your tire gave up. I was so sorry when I saw how big the damage was. But I was amazed that we reached that far. That same day, i bought you a new tire!

Who would have thought I will have you. I never imagined I could buy a car with my own money. You're one of my accomplishments. The luxury I got from being away from home. You're not brand new but among your second hand contemporaries, you are the handsomest of them all! You look good as new, dashing as ever!

You became my shock absorber whenever I feel bad, especially when Im really pissed at something. We just drive around, but drive so fast like we're racing against time or something. We're always on the 5th gear. We could join the fast and the furious except that I dont know how to drift! I feel bad for your gas pedal, it's overused compared to the brakes! I just thanked God I was never that stupid to be involved in an accident. I may be crazy but I fear dying with a crushed, beaten, and broken body that's why I never thought of slamming you and dying that way. No way man! I still want to look good when I die.

Aside from my dad, you're the second 'man' that I've ever loved. Ooopss I mean third coz I still have URT back home. Lucky you ha?! =) Hehe! Adik said when we get to the states, she'll buy me the great Cayenne! Haha! Don't worry, you'll still be the third and the Cayenne will come in fourth!

I'll miss you fordy. You know how I hate goodbyes. I just hope your next owner will take care of you as much as I did, or should I say, as much as dad did! =)

Take care of him/her as well. Don't give them any headaches. My reputation is at stake!

I will always remember you.

Always...

Much love,
Me

According to Daniel Powter...

2006-08-14T16:43:00.000+08:00

Definitely a bad day.

I was pissed.

I feel guilty.

I feel like boxing someone in the face until his eyes pop out.

Inhale. Exhale.

I should do that more often.

Really.

Bang!

Distinct

2006-08-13T14:16:00.000+08:00

Kapag pumasok ka ng pantry dito sa office, alam na alam mo kung sinong kumakain. At malamang kapag malakas ang amoy, asahan mo, mga kasama mong 'Pana yun! (alam mo yun, pana = indian pana kakana kana!) Ahaha! Sila nga! Galing mo George!

At kapag sila naman ang pumasok sa pantry at kami ang kumakain, alam na alam din nila na noypi ang mga nasa pantry! Sus mas malakas kaya ang amoy ng pagkain nila noh! Sa amoy pa lang magkaka-almuranas ka na! Ahaha! Ooopss, pasintabi sa mga nagbabasa dyan! Wish ko lang di nila naiintindihan mga pinagsusulat ko dito!

Distinct.

Alam na alam ko kapag nasa pinas na ko dahil pagbaba ko pa lang ng eroplano, amoy pinas na! Anong amoy yun? Di ko ma-explain, bsta distinct!

At kapag nasa qatar naman ako, di ko iisipin na naligaw ang eroplanong sinasakyan ko at nagre-reroute sa london dahil asahan mong qatar na qatar ang amoy! Anong klaseng amoy ulit yun?! Di ko pa rin ma-eexplain, bsta distinct!

I have a distinct smell.

You have a distinct smell.

Everybody has a distinct smell.

Sympre mas mabango, mas masarap amuyin!

Parang si adik...

Distinct.

PPSS:
Sabi nila you should always find time to smell the flower[s].
Well, pag kasama ko si adik, araw araw kong ginagawa yan!
Ahahaha!

Toink!

Walang konek pramis! Naisip ko lang!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH baby!